Tag Archives: reality

Think of me sometime *experimental*

20 Jun

this may enhance your reading pleasure:

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Remember when we would run down the path, over by the the creek. You were so fast, I loved to watch you run. The grace that was your body entranced me. Your arms and legs flowed like liquid. You danced.

You always looked so beautiful surrounded by those big oaks and vines of ivy. My heart drank in your presence, my being consumed your sight. You meant so much to me and you never knew that. And every time we would part you always said, think of me sometime.

The way you would speak to me was like a butterfly rodeo and I was caught in it. You could have shattered me with a breath. I saw you next to me until this world ended and we would continue even still.

The day you left, my veins froze, time was a thick mass and the air became solid. Life was a figment of someone’s imagination, I was dead to the world.

I was an unanchored ship in a storm. Each heartbeat a wave that rolled me in and out of isolated agony that shook my ancestors.

My mouth never formed our last goodbye, our fingers would never intertwine again. My eyes will never to meet yours or watch you gracefully dance while keeping the same tempo as our rushing creek.

My heart had been impaled by the evil genius who invented tight hugs, long kisses and tender moments. Pulled out and laughed at. I was now half man, half raging animal.

On the day when you would rest, I was a walled off, walled in cinder. Walls made of heavy sorrow and heartsick melancholy. I was walking through frozen clouds of grief. The girl that I secretly loved since my eyes were graced by here appearance, was now cold and stark. My legs felted like daggers sticking out of the ground, piercing my torso though into an upright position.

I could feel the blood tracing around my body and felt ashamed that it was. I wanted nothing more than for this warm life to leave me and find you. To replace that thing with my one and only love. I took an oath where I stood to never love anything ever.

I was faced with what can only be described as inhumane reality. My head would hang forever, I was now truly alone.

And as they lowered you into the Earth and little pieces of my heart continued to break lose, my tears cried tears. I looked up to where I knew you would be and said, think of me sometime.

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Rage Turned Inward

28 Apr

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Do you know me? then shut up.

Teeth grinding and I can’t even see.

Lips pursed tight and thoughts on fire.

Muscles inextinguishable and reality on yield.

I put my hands around the throat of my invisible tormentor and squeeze.

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I don’t wanna talk I don’t wanna listen I don’t wanna hear I don’t want you I don’t want me I don’t wanna come I don’t wanna go I don’t wanna feel I don’t wanna see I wanna be mad I wanna hate I wanna kill I wanna be killed I wanna hurt I wanna scream I want it dark I want it cold I gotta go I gotta disappear I gotta run I gotta choke I gotta hit I gotta kick I gotta burst I need to move I need stop I need to pierce I need to stab I need to bleed I need to be tight I need to be left I need to be alone.

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The world is safe, all these things are Rage Turned Inward. That is depression.