Tag Archives: hurt

Rage Turned Inward

28 Apr

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Do you know me? then shut up.

Teeth grinding and I can’t even see.

Lips pursed tight and thoughts on fire.

Muscles inextinguishable and reality on yield.

I put my hands around the throat of my invisible tormentor and squeeze.

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I don’t wanna talk I don’t wanna listen I don’t wanna hear I don’t want you I don’t want me I don’t wanna come I don’t wanna go I don’t wanna feel I don’t wanna see I wanna be mad I wanna hate I wanna kill I wanna be killed I wanna hurt I wanna scream I want it dark I want it cold I gotta go I gotta disappear I gotta run I gotta choke I gotta hit I gotta kick I gotta burst I need to move I need stop I need to pierce I need to stab I need to bleed I need to be tight I need to be left I need to be alone.

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The world is safe, all these things are Rage Turned Inward. That is depression.

Little Black boy

21 Apr

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Look at you.

Hair nappy face ashy nose snotty, I bet you stink.

Do you even know how spell comb?

I’ll call you midnight, now smile so we can see you. Do you have a soul?

Look everybody how Black he is, a Afrikan booty scratchier, with big lips.

Yeah I know we look just alike but this is your time to make me feel good.

I know we come from the same place but my Black is not your Black.

Your Black ain’t white not even light skin, your Black hurts and it hurts me, your Black is me and I don’t want your Black.

Your Black is funny and Black, you ain’t me and I ain’t you, you a little Black boy.

Look at you, I bet you stink.

You remind me of me and I don’t like that.

I want to be different from you, my Black is not your Black, my lips are not your lips.

Let’s get him, don’t look at me with your Black self, you gonna cry now?

I ain’t as Black as you, my mother says I’m different.

We can’t hear you, you to Black, you make me sick.

With your Black self, are you even human? Little Black boy.