Tag Archives: alone

Chronic Fatigue

19 Jul

this may enhance your reading pleasure.

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When my feet hit the floor my spirit sinks, I can feel the weight of my entire body.

The lack of motivation makes me sick and joyless, a life with no joy is not a life, but a sentence and hard labor is the punishment.

We are separated from ourselves by a thin sheet of confusion and noise, we all know what must be done, but the lack of motivation is a sickness and a joy denier that spreads easily from one to the next–as was planned.

We want for nothing but beelines and magic, though we can have neither the hunt keeps us facing forward.

The mind cannot make itself up, so it dwells for years and the dwelling is most easy, especially with heads down.

We get stuck in mind frames as we meander and roam into one another, heads still down.

Heartbreak and disappointment weighs on the person and the sight becomes short, our inner voice gets faint and we are left facing forward in the hunt with heads down.

We follow the soul in front, who follows the soul in front and all are blind and inner voices are faint and heads cannot be lifted.

We have become the mirror images of each other and the slightest difference is exploited if only in our minds.

With heads bowed we can’t look back and in our wake is staircase made out of souls with bowed heads who can’t look back.

We have become less human and our world is a place where kind hearts can no longer be seen nor allowed to be seen.

We have now become people, good at being alone.

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Rage Turned Inward

28 Apr

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Do you know me? then shut up.

Teeth grinding and I can’t even see.

Lips pursed tight and thoughts on fire.

Muscles inextinguishable and reality on yield.

I put my hands around the throat of my invisible tormentor and squeeze.

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I don’t wanna talk I don’t wanna listen I don’t wanna hear I don’t want you I don’t want me I don’t wanna come I don’t wanna go I don’t wanna feel I don’t wanna see I wanna be mad I wanna hate I wanna kill I wanna be killed I wanna hurt I wanna scream I want it dark I want it cold I gotta go I gotta disappear I gotta run I gotta choke I gotta hit I gotta kick I gotta burst I need to move I need stop I need to pierce I need to stab I need to bleed I need to be tight I need to be left I need to be alone.

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The world is safe, all these things are Rage Turned Inward. That is depression.