But I hurt her

11 Aug

this may enhance your reading pleasure:

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Long time now I have loved her

Long time now I have been sick

She is the ice water to my hell

I am the dust to her wind

I love her but I hurt her

My mouth has no brakes to my thoughts

I am poison in her veins, but she loves me

I know not why I hurt her, I don’t want to

I love her smile and her smell

I am not well and in need of help

She can’t help me though she try’s

I don’t want to see her cry and I don’t want her to hurt

Long time now I have been sick

She is my light, but I still can’t see her

I am her darkness and she thinks the sun will be up soon

She is beautiful, but I make her ugly

I cannot stop myself

Must I run everything away

Must I be here alone

She loves me and I don’t know why

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13 Responses to “But I hurt her”

  1. Estelle August 11, 2012 at 11:01 PM #

    Seems like the narrator does not want to reach out and grab the love of the woman. I am not sure why? Undeserving? not used to getting real kindness, tenderness and passion? Never knew that love given completely is the best life can offer? Hmmm I hope he lets her in to his heart and just opens his arms to embrace her and no longer push her away

    • hunglikejesus August 12, 2012 at 5:54 AM #

      I think this is a problem with many confused and damaged Black men. The pain of racism effects them/us in ways that may show up normally. Then what happens is the people closest to them/us gets the anger that cannot be express in any other way. We love our women, but we caught in this catch 22 where we can’t lash out without causing more problems. So family is our whipping boy.

      Thank you for reading this post and please tell others about it in hopes that it may ease some pain and allow healing.

  2. eldhughes August 11, 2012 at 11:37 PM #

    I hope that he get’s professional help and maybe some meds to go along with it. Nothing will make him happy – neither light nor darkness, until he finds out why. His sun can rise for her if he wants it to. But he must look outside himself to make it so. Oh, and try some Jesus too, He works wonders.

    • hunglikejesus August 12, 2012 at 6:12 AM #

      I think most Black people could use some profession help and maybe some medication. Whoever, Jesus and the church I don’t think will do much for us as we have been there since day one.

      We are a hurt people and hurt people, hurt people.

      As far as the church goes you may wanna give my piece “forsaken/in hind sight” a read.

      Thank you so much for stopping by, please feel free to hangout any time.

      Again, thank you.

  3. Robyn August 12, 2012 at 9:59 PM #

    Very nice piece I must say. I guess I would wonder why the narrator would try and just take a chance with the object of his affections?

    • hunglikejesush August 19, 2012 at 6:34 PM #

      The narrator is not well and he doesn’t know what the object of affection even means.

  4. Robyn August 13, 2012 at 5:25 AM #

    I meant, why wouldn’t the narrator reach out and take a chance?

    • hunglikejesus August 13, 2012 at 5:50 AM #

      I think it’s not plain to the “narrator” why he does the things he does. We don’t always know that we hurt our loved ones. That is a sign of the sickness I was describing in the piece. Speaking it I think is also reaching out. We try to do the best we can with what we have, but if standing in a place of blindness then you can’t act accordingly. Me thinks.

      Thank you so much for reading this and commenting.

      • Robyn August 13, 2012 at 9:12 PM #

        Really?

  5. mary burrell August 18, 2012 at 5:45 PM #

    This reminds me of a hellish relationship I was in. I had to get out. It was killing me. The guy was really sick now that I look at it in hindsight. Love your poems.

    • hunglikejesus August 18, 2012 at 6:07 PM #

      I write from real life Black life. We all can relate to these in some way.

      I’m really glad you were able to move on before you were not able to move. We Black men have so much coming at us, that it’s an act of the Most High that any of us can find a Black woman at all and that’s all we should be looking for. We are us.

      Thank you Sista for stopping by and reading our work, we do it together.

  6. honeytreebee March 16, 2013 at 9:09 AM #

    It is like you were there watching me… You love them and can’t help them and leaving is so painful… at time you wish for the pain because then at least then you have your love.

    • hunglikejesush March 16, 2013 at 9:17 AM #

      I don’t think staying inna abusive relationship is good for anyone involved. Love does not give you black eyes and missing teeth. Get out move on and yourself first and most of all.

      Thank you sis for stopping by.

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