My heart stopped beating today

31 May

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My heart stopped beating today

Clouds passed over to pay their respects

Even the trees slumped in remembrance of me

My eyes fixed and crusted by exposure

My mouth is dry and my tongue is swelling

I was so tired of breathing air meant for someone else

If this life is mine why can’t I give it away

My heart stopped beating years ago anger was the only thing that kept me from laying down

I hated to see sun come up

My gut was filled with empty heads and staring eyes the quick and the dead

I was locked in endless daydream and blinding ignorance

The only way out was in through bolted doors and booby trapped self help

All I recognized were partners in misery

My heart stopped beating today and I feel no better

The grass has already started to grow under me

This world does not stop to mourn

The animals will come in search of a meal

Ashes to ashes and all

My lungs worked as life support for a empty husk

My legs carried me from one disappointment to the next

My hands failed me this should have happened sooner

My mouth was a tool of destruction to innocents

Down trodden and heavy laden was my lullaby

My heart stopped beating today but my pain hasn’t

I WANT MY LIFE REVIEW

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10 Responses to “My heart stopped beating today”

  1. diaryofanegress May 31, 2012 at 7:44 PM #

    Another great post. What made your heart stop?

    • hunglikejesus May 31, 2012 at 7:58 PM #

      A bullet to the brain…

      No, just joking. I don’t really know if it’s my heart or someone else’s heart that’s stop beating today, but I’m sure someone’s heart stopped today.

      Seriously, this is a note to self that nothing changes when someone takes their own life. What I think what happens when someone takes their life, is they get turned around and sent right but here or somewhere like here to get the lesson they were intended to get. We can’t bailout because the game get’s rough, it’s supposed to be rough. I keep telling myself.

  2. odell June 1, 2012 at 10:50 PM #

    Speechless

  3. robyn June 3, 2012 at 10:04 AM #

    This reads as if you have had an out of body experience….very interesting piece.

  4. honeytreebee March 13, 2013 at 1:58 AM #

    No bail outs. I had a dream once and in the dream I died. I felt it and I died. I lived all of my lives on this planet all of them in review only to hear rinse and repeat. So, it happened again only to hear rinse and repeat. I lived them more slowly and then faster I relived them in different order. Yet, every time at the end rinse and repeat. rinse and repeat…..

    • hunglikejesush March 16, 2013 at 12:31 PM #

      No there are no bailouts. And if you did bailout you would promptly get turned around and sent back to do it again.

      We gotta stick it out and get our lesson, it’s what we all agreed to do and we MUST do it.

  5. mary burrell October 29, 2013 at 8:39 PM #

    Dying by one’s own hand is never the solution. You are growing.

    • hunglikejesus October 29, 2013 at 8:54 PM #

      That is an old one Ms. Mary. That wasn’t about me, it was a part of somebody who live in my head somewhere.

      Thank you for going back though.

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