Archive | May, 2012

My heart stopped beating today

31 May

this may enhance your reading pleasure:


My heart stopped beating today

Clouds passed over to pay their respects

Even the trees slumped in remembrance of me

My eyes fixed and crusted by exposure

My mouth is dry and my tongue is swelling

I was so tired of breathing air meant for someone else

If this life is mine why can’t I give it away

My heart stopped beating years ago anger was the only thing that kept me from laying down

I hated to see sun come up

My gut was filled with empty heads and staring eyes the quick and the dead

I was locked in endless daydream and blinding ignorance

The only way out was in through bolted doors and booby trapped self help

All I recognized were partners in misery

My heart stopped beating today and I feel no better

The grass has already started to grow under me

This world does not stop to mourn

The animals will come in search of a meal

Ashes to ashes and all

My lungs worked as life support for a empty husk

My legs carried me from one disappointment to the next

My hands failed me this should have happened sooner

My mouth was a tool of destruction to innocents

Down trodden and heavy laden was my lullaby

My heart stopped beating today but my pain hasn’t


old soul *experimental*

29 May

this may enhance your reading pleasure:


i look new at this, as i dust off my old consciousness.

i’ve been doing this for six evolutions.

the suit ain’t comfortable this time around.

the sleeves are kinda tight and the pants are to short, it’s really big around the heart area as well and this hair.

i’ve seen quasars and pulsars, i’ve even seen collapsed stars turn into black holes, but nothing like this uncomfortable suit I have now and this hair.

i’ve been at this for six evolutions, i’ve created machines that can only be described as magic, but this suit is unlike anything i know. it has an unfamiliar purpose.

i have the ability to think on three levels, seen, unseen and what’s to come.

i have studied with and worked for all the masters from all six evolutions and have even soul traveled with a few to and from this earth. i’ve seen planets that have no life and even planets that are all water, never have i come across a suit such as this or even considered it.

i do remember in the first evolution, their was talk of a great people who wore this suit, but it was only talk and some even mentioned that those were not suits. my mind has spanned this entire universe and others, how could they not be suits?

this hair has got to be the most uncomfortable for me, it’s kinetic and potential energy at once, is that possible?

i’ve watched luna being formed and i even saw her as she cooled, but nothing like this.

i have seen mountain ranges come and go, oceans rise and fall, but this suit has power beyond all the forces of nature. this has got be to what god felt like when he created the heavens.

when this suit is illuminated just right, it glows with a power that i don’t know and the color must be the color of god and his offspring. the earth be this color also. i have been to the center of this galaxy by thought and that is not this, this is new.

though uncomfortable to me, i feel i’ll never get full use of this suit and this hair. this incarnation has made all the rest pale.

i’ve now grown, i have reached the upper room and rest is close, on bent knees, rest is close.

we never knew, thought ourselves life, but we never knew, how many times must a soul come back to learn a lesson as simple as this? we never knew and my rest is close.

after reasoning with myself and knowledge of worlds gone, i’ve come to realize that it’s not the suit that’s uncomfortable, it’s me. my mind is not  wise and wide as i thought, i still need to grow.

this suit is my beginning, after six evolutions i’m just beginning, my rest is not close, as I polish my new consciousness.

where i’m from *experimental*

27 May

this may enhance your reading pleasure:


see up there, the second star on the right, just above luna? that’s my backyard.

where i come from people are human and not just representatives of life.

we have no laws but are ruled by the forces of nature, she is our mother.

some came before us, you call them the dogon, we call them kin.

where i’m from wars are between two people and it’s quiet and both walk away, better.

we don’t have time there, our bodies are clocks and they govern.

our sky is what you call tan, we breath differently from here, deeper.

we lost hate during the last rotation, when the gods visited.

we have no work, everyone is provided for by everyone.

we don’t have many words, words cause confusion and misunderstandings, we have each other.

we have no possessions, no ownership, the gods took that also, we have home.

i want to go back when this is done, i can’t breath freely here.

we also have no money, no need, we are free.

where i’m from it doesn’t have a name really, we call it home, the star on the right just above luna.

where i’m from we can’t see distants, only details, our air is thick.

where i’m from we have two suns, one’s dying the other mourns.

when it rains where i’m from, the rain never reaches the ground, air keeps it and feeds all.

we really don’t have nighttime either, but i like this nighttime here, the people go in.

we don’t eat animals where i’m from and they don’t eat us.

we have what we call jubalusting, everything on the planet seeks level without interfering with anything else.

i was born into it and it’s all i know.

they say here is a classroom, i have learned a lot, but nothing i can use.

we don’t have love either, not like you have. where i’m from love is all you can see and imagine, not just for humans but all.

where i’m from people are human, not just representatives of life.


25 May

this may enhance your reading pleasure:



She sets me on fire with the sway of her hips.

The way her dress flows is like satin against rocks.

Her movements were choreographed by heavenly being to delicate to be deliberate.

She smells like fresh baked life on the first day of forever.

Her hair is that of down from newly hatched love birds.

Her skin draws me in as if deep as an ocean and smooth as a summer breeze with honeysuckle hints.

She sounds like velvet harps, struck by wooden hammers and strings plucked by children.

She is the color of my dreams with drops of honey and a pinch of would you be mine.

Her creation was meant for men who long for women who are pure women, with smiles and soft existence.

She reminds me of days when sunlight washes through trees, to find my face and brush it with a golden kiss.

She is forever on my mind where she has taken up permanent residences.

She is as gentle as waking up on your own with nothing to do.

If tears ever fell from her eyes and hit the ground, forever that spot belongs to me.

I want to hold her hand and walk with her, then I can leave this place, I have truly done it all.

Demerol *experimental*

25 May

this may enhance your listen pleasure:



you can’t run from pain, it’s a shadow, hurt becomes good. you slip into agony your mind is red and black with lightness. you move back and forth like a monster on fire, no escape, no respite for the wary. you feel like the night sky, devoid of light with stab wounds and a big hole off to the side. your thoughts mostly go, nothing comes but sick, hot, hurt you’ll learn to be a slave. focus on it, that’ll help cause the seed is planted and it will grow and blossom like the devil’s backbone. take your time, the hot liquid moves slow and goes deep, your nerves wake up and strip. the root has taken, lay back and focus. you can no longer tell which time you belong, your mind is on leave and has left you alone, nothing but the brain now. get up and walk, match the throbbing, like a train gone of course, you cannot. freedom is just a word and now you know it. you go inside looking for some coolness, none to be found here, nothing but that hot liquid moving slowly and still getting deeper. your nails dig long trenches into your imagination, you think. salt is your flavor now, you’ll love it before long. reach out and understand that it will not last forever, nothing does, but hell and you are there. this is what a thousand years feel like in reverse, on pause. surely hell would offer some relief or not, you must remember that is where you are. if you ask louder it may wither. this is a walk through a desert, but in reverse, on pause. this kind of hurt is reserved for the bad, you thought. go ahead grin some, that can help surely or maybe it’ll hurt. if you can see me your to close while my bones are breaking and my flesh is pulled away by tiny life. the inside of me is all over me, this can’t last, not like last time. it’s burning like hot ice. I could grow to love this, I could love time standing still as well. just for a minute let it be cool, you can come back when it’s done. nobody has to know. I can reach down my throat and pull you out, but my mouth can get no wider. my head is red and black on the inside, wonder what it looks like on the wall.

The Matriarchal Flame

24 May

this may enhance your reading pleasure:


you have kept me transfixed and comfortable with your warmth. your soft glow is that of a woman who has lived and loved and moved on. i put my hands out in hopes that your flames will chase away the cold that has collected. i watched your flicker and sway and the soft crackle has endeared me without effort. we know these flames, these are the flames that have raised all manner of sons and daughters. the same heat that has prepared sustenance, these flames be us and we in turn stare into these flames and they know us. the flame that is you, is now burning in me and i welcome it. it’s been a little while, but i know that feeling, it has carried me. it has kept me from me and made sure that i knew of it’s life giving warmth. when i was alone and in the dark, i could still see that light of that flame, of that heart, of that woman, of that life giver, of that love that is mine. i take it with me when i go and it goes with me. i bring it back when i come and it comes with me. my tears have flowed and that flame remains, it’s what i need. it’s what i have always needed.


24 May

this may enhance your listening pleasure:


watch this to get the complete feel of this piece. focus on the time stamp 12:01 to 13:53


Our smiles have betrayed our inheritance.

A smile that we have practiced while staring down the barrel of a gun.

A smile that has been passed along, a gift of sorts, magic even.

A smile that has put food on tables and allowed tried souls to rest.

A smile indistinguishable from any other, a smile that says I’m okay, I’m not a threat, I come in peace, please allow me to leave in it.

A smile that disguised fears, that make men shrink and women vanish.

A smile much like an opiate to bringers of harm and bone breakers and night riders.

A smile that allows one, to maybe live another day.

A smile so dehumanizing it makes people feel nothing, even towards like.

A smile that appears even through knee buckling degradation.

A worthless smile, a soul killer.

A smile that represents terminal, self induced illness.

A smile that has become poison and a misrepresentation of facts.

A smile that is bone jarring and defeated in it’s delivery.

A smile that is bold as a lie.

A smile when seen betray’s an inheritance, but a smile when gone will fulfill a prophecy.

As long as a people are smiling they be all right and you, safe.

When that smile is gone and a people wake up and an inheritance cashed in.