I gotta move on

19 Apr

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The loop that loops in my head keeps me here. And here is nowhere, I have not grown.

I am caught in this world where nothing is real and all is too real. I gotta move on.

I my eyes betray me, my motion is work, I don’t wanna be here. Time is a word and the movement of a clock, a broken clock that serves to let me know that I gotta move on. But to where, here is nowhere.

Motivation has tricked me, lead me astray, I have not moved. I don’t wanna be here.

Progression is empty, I want for nothing but for the noise to stop, the noise of quiet mind has become to much. I can’t get out. My struggle can’t be in vein. I gotta move.

I feel hollow the riptide that is my mental carry’s me out and and drops me off, my hollow keeps me aloft, but just. Here is nowhere.

My wings have weakened, my legs are clay, I have abandon myself. My hollow keeps up and I am up, but I gotta move on, the life in me has to move, if the life in me is to live.

Time be my enemy and it plays with me, I never see it come and always feel go. I gotta move on.

This life was given to me by request, no promises made, only lessons for sure and in that those lessons we gotta move on.

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4 Responses to “I gotta move on”

  1. LaTrease May 6, 2012 at 2:12 PM #

    Your words are amazing…They are saying everything I feel, that I cant find words to express, without people looking at me crazy…I have days I feel I dont know why I’m still here. That there is no purpose for me being here And when I express it people feel like I wanna take myself out, and thats not the case, I just want to find my purpose. But if there is no longer a purpose for God to just let it end.

    • hunglikejesus May 6, 2012 at 5:12 PM #

      Hey LaTrease,
      I got this reply while at work today and I could’t wait to thank you and let you know you are not alone. I can remember one time thinking, that I’m wasting a perfectly good life that someone who wants to live can use. That would mean me not being here anymore and I was always cool with that. I’m no longer in that mode, but there are times when I don’t wanna be here. It’s natural to not wanna be here, but since we are we may as well go ahead do it. I still struggle with feelings of uselessness and often feel like just laying down and staying there, but I get up and face it.

      Finding one’s purpose is indeed a task and I still don’t know if I found mine. If you read the piece, As I move Forward, you’ll see that we must continue to move forward, no matter the darkness, no matter if there is a finish we can see. Just come back here and hangout in the words whenever you want or send me an email and we can talk about it
      tyski1@gmail.com. Write anytime and remember to always talk about it.

      Peace.

  2. honeytreebee March 12, 2013 at 2:40 PM #

    I feel this way at times. I look upon my life and think what have i done? I am no where to where I should be and no way of getting there. The the anger and sorrow wells up for all that should have been. My life feels scattered and wind tossed like a gushing laugh from a cruel joke just the exhaust fumes from a tail pipe. Someones going somewhere, but not me. I’m here doing penances in a public grave yard for a crime I know nothing of.

    • hunglikejesus March 12, 2013 at 5:33 PM #

      Yes, you need to write to purge those stagnate feelings. I read a bit of poetry in comments. Please write, it did me a world of good.

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